I’m in the midst of a vigorous bout of simplifying my life, enthusiastically getting rid of a large quantity of possessions I no longer want or need. The process is personally liberating and financially rewarding at the same time. I’m reminded of a blog post from several years ago, during the depths of our recent recession, titled “A New Yardstick.” At that time, many people were working very hard just to keep up financially. I believe today that this same situation is still an unfortunate reality for a large number of people.
When we struggle daily to survive, we get physically and emotionally exhausted. We become vulnerable to negative emotions like worry, frustration, discouragement, and despair. Our view of life can become dark and hopeless. But that view is not an accurate picture of where we are.
What we need—what I strongly urge my friends and patients—is to find a new “yardstick”. We need to change the way we measure our progress and success.
Specifically, this means we must stop measuring our success in dollars and cents. That’s an old yardstick we all have in us. It can be easy to mark our progress in life by our savings account balances, the value of our homes, our cars, and other material possessions. Here are three ways to change your mindset and turn in your old yardstick for a new one.
1. Stop trying to live up to your own unrealistic expectations.
Do you value yourself based on your net worth? If your answer is ‘yes’ to this question, at least part of the time, you’re not alone. Identifying ourselves with our possessions, equating our worth as a person with our money and belongings is a temptation as old as man. Remember you are a unique, valuable, irreplaceable human being with intrinsic worth and abilities. You have immeasurable value in yourself and in the contribution only you can make to the lives of those you love and to your community.
2. Stop trying to live up to others’ unrealistic expectations.
Does what other people think of you tend to run your life? Do you see yourself mostly through the eyes of others? Have you exchanged the pursuit of your own passion and calling for a pursuit of status or acceptability? If you didn’t feel driven to live up to other people expectations, how would you see yourself differently, and what might you do differently with your life?
3. Stop using “if . . . then . . . “ thinking.
Does this sound at all familiar? “If I could get (fill in the blank) dollars saved in the bank, then I’d be happy”—or feel safe—or be ready for retirement—or be able to go on a nice vacation—or free to try a new career, the list could go on and on. This is a form of wishful, magical thinking. It’s a way of postponing life and action. The truth is that there are no guarantees. As I’ve written about before, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. While planning is important, we truly need to live one day at a time, making the best of what is in front of us today.